Hit Low Note

I feel myself is such a disappointment to anyone, especially those who love me dearly. From the past to present, I have been hurt and disappoint those whom I love....my parents, sister and now my girlfriend. Failure is the right word to use to describe me. The more I'm trying to impress them, the more disappointment they get. I'm trying to learn from my past experience and trying to please my girlfriend but it is just another failure for me. She wants me to travel and stay over at her house. That is not a problem to me but she told me last minute. That really caught me out of surprise....I'm sorry because I don't like to travel without planning. The contradict part was she likes to travel and can just pack and go that type of person. What makes me small is that she compare me with Mr K....then compare with Mr B....along my life till current day....my love one keep compare me with people around me. My school life....compare me with my cousin and sister....they are great in academic and my parents expect me to match their achievement. When comes to learning music, people compare me with my sister...she has it all...talent in music and a good voice to sing....what am I....just like a beggar off the streets....why does my whole life have to be compare with this and that person...am I that tiny or so poor in term of skill or character that I don't have any small part that I can charm people....what really makes me sad is that my life is just like a robot...people nearest to me have remote control to have control over me....all they need to do is just press a button...does they care how I feel...I feel bored in giving in about this matter....they feel this and that is the best for me but they never ask me whether is this what you wanted or is this the best for you....I struggle to please them...there is only two place for me to do what I wish to do....first is Kampar....the place where I study and the second are this blog...where I can express what and how I feel...life seem like so pathetic to me....I really very happy when my friends celebrated my birthday with me because after living 17years of rejection...finally I can get this group of true friend....I know time is running out as they are graduating soon....I wish to apologize to my girlfriend for choosing them over you at this moment....I love you but I cherish them because they have been with me for four years not merely as friends or companion but also a special bond that cannot be explain as we fight together since foundation with the aim to graduate....

To my dearly girlfriend,
I'm sorry if phone calls or msn or whatever communication way that we are using now cannot pleases you as you wish to see me more. You did nothing wrong with this hope but is me who let you down from time to time....I hope you understand that I'm trying to strike balance between you and my friend....I have to admit that I'm poor at it. Disappoint you really break my heart....at times I question God and ask Him why separate us....He really put a test for me....many moments that I'm down and wish to find you to talk off but seeing you so tired after off from work....I just keep it to myself as I know you didn't good life after whole day working....and at times I wish to cheer you with jokes and stories or excite you by telling you what special event that I have done.....all of those seem like can't stimulate you...I'm glad when you share your problem with me....nowadays...I seldom can know what you're doing...I sent few messages then you only reply and I don't blame you cause previously I did something wrong I guess or the work already drain you out and you need a time out....out of frustration...I wish to tell you but I don't deserve yet cause you sacrifice more than I do....just please bear with me and what nonsense that I have cause or done...

My Day...

My day started out as i woke up at two quarter near half. Then i turn on my laptop as usual. When my laptop was started, i turn on the facebook. Instantly a message was pop out from the satay lou chat window. It was from Ken, now we go lunch then straight go to volleyball....nic, you wan join....i replied instant by typing yes...myself go take a bath n change into sports attire....then waited for Ken n Lum...along the way going out to main road....we picked up Kenny and Sim Huae.....they plan to go Utar from academic purposes....we drop them at the gate that links between Utar and Ktar....then we headed for our lunch. We went to a shop that i don't remember its name....we took chicken rice there....after finishing our lunch....we went to the volleyball court at Ktar to meet up wif Shawn, Kenny and Sim Huae....When we reach the court....i can see the dark clouds moving in packs towards our direction....but we ignored them as we play as we waited for it to rain....thank God that the wind keep blow the dark clouds away....we play a total of 5 sets of game.....Lum, Ken and myself a team while Kenny, Sim Huae and Shawn make up a team.....we plan to try a different strategy by dividing roles among ourselves. Lum or me would play first person who receive the ball or the person who set the ball to the front which is Ken....Ken will then play as spikier, which often tend to be the third person who play the ball over or usually takes ball that comes under the net....we have few successful play in the first set but won the game....as we play until the third set, i exchange role wif Ken.....somehow we have much better communication this way....the team play strategy managed to work out...we had a fun game after playing all 5 sets...after the game....we all rested at the court and do some chatting....then headed to a food center called Primas....I had a half piece of tosai and i don quite remember what did others had.....After having our nice dinner, we went to Tenaga Mini Market to shop for some stuff and goods....I bought a shampoo as the previous one was finish....as done some small shopping...then we headed home...along the way...we scared that in front will have road blocks by few policemen...so we put on our seat belts in a rush...it was a false alarm as there were no road blocks but we still need to put on as for our own safety purposes...we then dropped Kenny and Sim Huae back to their home and the last destination was my room...sitting in front of my laptop typing this post to you....that summarize three quarter of my day or Monday....hope enjoy what i have been thru

Smile thru your day =)

Beauty!!!!

Just few days ago, a girl whom i love leave the place where i study for her future. It a mixed feeling for both of us to what i believe. We are still maintaining our relationship though we are distance away. There was an idea or metaphor appear in my mind. I think of using the word beauty to describe our relationship and how it should be.
There are two situation that people who are warmly in love will have as an ending. This is how it goes, there are some type of people who only wants a beautiful love and ignore the time factor. Meaning that they don't care how short is the relationship but all they want is a beautiful relationship. It is like an architect who design and build the world most beautiful scrapper. The building amaze and mesmerize many with the glasses as the theme of the building. But when an earthquake comes, the beauty in eyes of many has now turn into dust....very beautiful but not long lasting. The other type is building a simple house with a strong foundation. Many may not see what beauty does this simple house possess and doesn't bother to have a glance at it. Yet this simply house can last through storm and also quakes, not to mention it also provide shelter. After through storms, people will then look back and at this moment they can see what beauty lies in this simple house. Not only they realise but they also will cherish they beauty that the possess, the simple house.
I'll hope we both can try hard to build a simple house and look back what beauty we have sow and now it has rip. =)

Music In the snow

Today is a Sunday, a day where many people went church. As I begin to prepare myself, I look out the window to have a glanced of the weather. It is snowing outside and the temperature was recorded at -14 Celsius. It is freezing cold and the snow was getting heavier than it was a second ago. In my mind, I was wondering whether are we able to get to church. The heavy snow will make the road slippery and hard to drive on it. Suddenly, mum yell from downstairs, "we are not going to church today...the snow is to heavy". I shouted back and say yes. I feel like having a walk to the nearby cafe to have some hot drinks. I grabbed on my winter coat and walk down the stairs while informing my mum that Im going out. She nod her head as I going past the door. As Im walking down the street, I can feel the freezing wind blew through me. My ears can feel the pain and my body is shivering although the Im wearing a winter coat. There few people down the street, the snow has keep them off the street. The street is so silent as I continue my walk....I heard a music came from a dark corner of the street..I was somehow got attracted by the voice....I approached nearer to see what it is....

Is she the one???

I haven't write for ages. I now only write when I feel like writing. Recently I know a girl, she somehow attracted my attention. I feel very comfortable with her. She has her own beauty. She is active and seem like capable of in everything. To me she seem like the one Im waiting for.....together with her I found my ownself. I close my eyes, she will appear in my mind. I guess she is really the one Im waiting for.....it has been 2years since the last one...time really flies fast...just like a wink of eyes...2years past....Should I go after her or let this opportunity passes by???...but I have decided to give it a try...I even pray to God for an answer....seem like the answer is a yes...i hope i'll success =)

Good Friends End Up Couple

Three good friends,
Two become couple,
One end up lonely,
All feel happy.

I wish I can become the first to know,
I wish I can become the second to share their happiness,
I wish I could become the third to celebrate with them,
I wish fourth is they get blessing from everyone.

You both move in advance,
While I move backwards,
To the origin,
Where I first started.

I guess I need to find myself some activities all over again =)

Friends

Friends,
One who has bond of mutual affection as define in dictionary,
Is it a person who care or harm you,
A person who share or take,
Or a person who lend a hand of help when in need,
Or whom stab you in the darkest moment.

Friends,
What does it mean to you,
Person who share your fame,
Or just person who make you shame,
Is he a person who light your life,
Or just another dark shadow who haunt your life.

Friends,
Cant best describe by none of the above,
Neither words can explain it,
Nor dictionary can define,
For it is best to picture,
Just like you and me,
Friends......

Riddle.....Make A Guess????

1) What word can be written forward, backward or upside down, and can still be read from left to right?

2) I'm not an airplane, but I can fly through the sky. I'm not a river, but I'm full of water. What am I?

3) I make u weak at the worst of all time. I keep you safe, I keep you fine. I make your hands sweat and your heart grow cold, I visit the weak but seldom the bold. What am i?

If you think you're smart then leave your answer in the comment box;I will give you feed back whether your answers are right or wrong....

Preparation To Hit High Note

Hectic weeks is ahead.....will i able to cope with it....i think i'll handled just fine if i can cut my sleeping and gaming time little more and put more effort on revision. I dont aim to be the best in my class but at least a decent result. I believe that our biggest enemy is ourselves. We may beat the whole world yet lost to ourselves. I planned to take one step by one step to focus more on my studies. I dont how much can i changed but at least im putting effort in trying. To achieve success without effort is dead, is just like a shooter who has a good gun but without the bullet. I want to climb back to my glory days, those days seems to fade away with the blowing wind; hide beneath my shadow....i'll arise....is time for me to wake up...play time is over. It's time for my instrument to once again hit high note.....I have learn to treat failure as stepping stone.

Im Back!!!!!

Yo.....what's up guys???Im back blogging....suddenly feel like writing some crap stuff after finish editing english assignment. Few weeks back, I found a target(girl) but I was too late, she belongs to a guy already....sad....trying to attend every class is more fun than skipping class. Im trying to shake off my kaki ponteng worm off my back. My new classmates are great, they are good in studies, gaming and chatting especially gossip....our class seems more lively compare to previous T8....this semester have a lot of presentation..fun...I will be able to wear my new formal shirt...At last kampar started to rain....nice night is ahead....if it didnt rain...it will be like desert...for pass weeks,monday,friday and saturday is my sports day. We play badminton, tennis, volleyball and football, to keep myself fit. I plan to quit blogging at first because I found it no meaning to keep it on but I love write....so i decided to keep on blogging.....word is a powerful and fantastic tools, you can use it to do anything but I love to use it to express my feeling.....I pick up my viola and started to play again but found that my skill has turn rusty....need to brush up already....I guess the person who encourage me to blog has spark my flame for blogging, nothing can actually wipe off the blazing fire.....thanks for the encouragement....you know who I am referring to....forget the lasting....I have been able to control my mouth and not let speech pour out from it too much...good news for me....

My Watch Collection

I have 4 watches as collection. I believe that watch no longer plays a role as just time keeper. Watch can now turn into design. We can use different watch to match our clothing.


This my first watch. Is a stainless steal watch. It makes people looks mature and more on career looking type. I got it when i was form 3. I lost my original watch so my dad replace me with this watch. It a chronograph type.....I love it because of it's function....chronograph....




This is my second watch. It make of leather strips and is limited edition. My dad bought me this one also cause he also like to collect watch. Is automatic type. Manufacture by Arbutus, an american company. We can see the machine through the back. The design is special.....


This is my third watch. A watch that bought by myself at a reasonable price. I like the texture of the watch. It brings me a classical feel. Made by Vincci. The middle part is bulky. You can the the watch ticking.


This is my fourth watch. A digital type. Actually, Im not quite fancy digital watch but this one attracted me with its design. A white one can match quite a lot of clothing. Also made by Vincci....maybe Vincci can focus on manufacturing watch. The watch they make is nice.

At Last, Im FREE!!!

It has been hectic for the past month. Mid-term test and assignments coming one by one like a never ending story. It had ended yesterday, my last test was accounting. Suddenly, I feel empty after busing for so many weeks. Those rushing time is over yet I feel boring and have nothing to do. Im free but Im not as excited as I thought. So I sat down and started to write this blog. Kampar always rain during night and it happens every night actually. My house is quiet and the sound of the pouring rain drops can be heard so clearly...tick...tick...every drops. The freedom I get already invest in movie and games. These types of lifestyle is meaningless; is just like people hitting an empty tin. I wish I can find something more meaningful to do, maybe playing instrument or reading novels. I have 2 instruments in my room, a guitar and a violin but my skills has turn rusty. I cant make good music anymore. Music that comes from my heart. There is this saying, people can feel what you feel through the music you play. If I cant play with my heart, how can people feel my music. So far, I have played for 2 person with my heart. First is Jesus and the other is my ex-girlfriend. The music is beautiful.....A music without feeling is a person without heart....a freedom without purpose is also a person without hearts....empty....

Music That Never Ends

For the past few days, I sat on my table and think of what happened to me. I realize life is like a circle, what goes way will somehow comes back. You cant never find a point to end it. It keep goes on and on until the day comes then it will stop on earth but not in the other life. You have been going after the same goal for years, you may have achieve it but you are not easily satisfied. You will perfect your goals by having a better life. Human tend to be more like robots as civilization happened. We will usually follow orders rather than use our brain to think. We are bind by too many rules, afraid to break any of the rules. Rules are mean to be broken but there lines that you cant cross. What will happened to the coming generation?
I really hope this current problem I'm facing will go off as time passes by......Who am I to judge the person whether is a nice person or vice versa. All I can do is keep myself from trouble and involve in less conversation. I feel so comfortable with room especially now....silent....where i can hear my watch ticking...nice...free from troubles....I wish to cut all my connection with the person but I dont have the courage to be that mean....I hope my flickering flame will be able to hold the gushing wind during my darkest hour...All i wish is that i will be able to end my music of life with a nice note....

Kampar, my second home

Kampar is a small town,
Which divided into new and old town,
Most shops located at old town,
While people live at new town.

Here, life is simple,
Yamcha and gaming is an example,
At market, elders selling vegetables,
At mamak, chui sui done by young people.

Bicycles are commoners,
Cars and motors are outsiders,
Speaking cantonese sounds familiar,
Reading english shouldn't be consider.

Happy Birthday Sim Hui........

Happy birthday Sim Hui....it was yesterday that we celebrated her birthday....when she told me yesterday was her birthday, I thought she was joking. It turn out to be her birthday. After class few of us when planned to go to KFC for our lunch. Then she said that she wish to follow us. Only me, Vincent, Kenny and Chin Poey went to KFC with her. All follow Vincent's car except Chin Poey riding his motor. We reach KFC first because Chin Poey have something to do before he joined us. We order our food and enjoy our meal; halfway Chin Poey arrived with a cake on his hand. Below is the process of what happen when celebrate:


This is the birthday cake for the pretty girl....




Look how happy see is....Sim Hui come back, don't dream to far....



"Im so touch and I want to thank..."; Sim Hui don't need to cry and cut the speech. After all is not an Oscar award......




Did I just mention don't cry???Oh no...she cry again...is just a celebration as friend to wish...fast wipe it...people looking lah...paiseh...



Look at them....a happy ending of the celebration....one eating and one laughing....

HappyBirthday....YeeMun

Sorry for the very belated wish....this video is specially made for you,although it look simple but from the background music and picture is all self make. It came from my sincere heart....HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

Who can win the English Premier League???

Let us look at the EPL this season......first of all, we will look at Arsenal. Arsenal have a great squad but still lack of depth, especially in midfield. Undenied that Arsene Wenger can train a youngster to play in that position just like Ebou. What Arsenal really need is a mature midfielder who can play the role of Flamini. The right person for that job is Liverpool's Xabi Alonso yet Wenger might not sign a player as Theo Walcott began to rise as a star who can employ right wing. Arsenal can win the league unless the play consistently, which the lose to Fulhum and Hull after winning big.
Liverpool can have hope to end the dream of winning the league title if the continue the form that the are producing now. For the past, Liverpool has been performing well in cups but not league due to striker who are unable to produce goals. I can see that Torres have solve that problem but the burden on him might cause adverse effect. Liverpool will need a duplication of Torres if the wish nail down the title this season or to hope Keane to score more goals.
Man Utd was the champion last season. The question is can they achieve the same form that they produce last season. I can see that Man Utd has solve their lack of striker problem with the signing of two striker. Everyone is eyeing on Berbatov to see whether he can live to his tag of 30million. He was good at assisting striker rather than scoring. Rooney need to be at the right time and the right position to just put the ball into the net, just like the previous Van Nisterooy. Man Utd may have a shaky start but they are being to play steadily.They stand a chance for the title if they play like last season. Ronaldo is one of the key to succeed.
Chelsea is tip as the strongest among the top 4 clubs. I suggest that they might be champion this season but the injured seems taunting Chelsea. They have a great start of the season, sitting of top of the table. Now is the mid season.....but the the top 4 clubs still struggle to show consistency and impact....

World fall, I also fall......

When my friend call me and told me that the result is out, I was nervous and scare. Then I call my friend and help me check the result. It turn out to be my biggest nightmare and defeat. My result was superb terrible and horrible. How can this happen to me? Reason is because I wasn't giving my best for the final exam. I cant blame the exam because is hard....all this is just excuse and reason. Many people may get bad result too but should I fall when the world fall.....no, the world fall but I should still stand. I have to work extremely hard to improve my grades and cgpa. It will not be an easy fight for me as I have to change my attitude. Is a wake up call for me.....this is degree and not foundation anymore....

Hao Peng You(mandrine)

This song is a christian song wrote by my sister, Nicole. Hope you enjoy and like the music.

Have you ever wonder what is a mirror for......to relect our look as we usually do. Last month, I was very down due to some relationship problem. It ended on a rainy day, she ask for a break up. I really struggle to let go off this relationship as i really love it. She has been a piece of jigsaw in my heart; a jigsaw puzzle won't be beautiful if missing one piece. This thing needs time to recover.....I look back to find what is the problem behind our relationship. While I was thinking, I walked to the bathroom. Then I looked into the mirror.....I realise that mirror is reflect who we are and what we have.....we may look into the mirror in different ways just as how people view us. Seriously, we hardly listen to people's advice....human nature...I saw my weakness....I should appreciate her more....we never face the problem but rather choose to ran away.....is really time for me to learn how to be humble...at least I manage to see my relationship with her in another view after things ended....learn through mistake....i had a big fall...one of biggest fall in my life....no pain no gain....Im too ignorance towards surrounding....Wake-up time for me....Is time to see the mirror and change what i should change.....Mirror....